Like a third of America’s youth, I was divorced as a child. While divorce is usually thought of as the dissolution of a marriage, it often means the suspension of a parental relationship with a child. In my case, my mother moved us to the east coast. She hoped this would avoid an ugly and potentially physical in-person reaction by my father. I’m happy to have a healthy adult relationship with him today, however, at seven, when I arrived at a new school perplexed by my circumstances I told my classmates that my father was building bridges for the government in Colorado and he couldn’t move with us. I didn’t know how to process this significant change in my life. My mother was young, ashamed and had little if any confidence that the school or extended community would embrace and support us if they truly knew what she had done. She had told no one, so I told no one.
Today, divorce is a common life crisis, with more than one million occurring in the United States annually. Those families contain our students, however we may not be informed of the separation progression or status of the family circumstances. Students experiencing family dissolution may have a more difficult time with academic and social expectations than children from intact or established blended families. This silent stressor weighs down their spirit, especially because how parents interact with each other, both before and after the divorce may have a far greater impact on children than the actual divorce itself.
Maternal depression, which certainly can manifest as a result of such disruption in a family’s stability, can also negatively affect children’s behavior and development. Another stressor’s children often experience, like myself, includes taking on additional, often adult roles such as child care in the evening while their mother works the night shift. Resulting conduct problems include guilt, rage, sadness, depression, and anxiety; disrupted and insecure attachment patterns, as well as symptoms consistent with PTSD, and decreased academic performance.
How can we as educators provide support to our students during this vulnerable period? One consideration is the integration of social and emotional learning (SEL) into our classrooms. SEL is the deliberate introduction of self-awareness, social awareness, self-management, responsible decision‐making, and relationship management skills. Ideally schools address SEL school-wide nonetheless, teachers can supplement such efforts with materials specifically geared toward the social challenges their students face. The books below address divorce and are perfect for a classroom library.
Age 3 and up:
Age 5 and up:
Age 8 and up:
Age 10 and up:
Age 12 and up:
If you recommend any other titles, or have input on activities that support children experiencing divorce, feel free to share them. Future entries here will address bullying, media usage, classroom management and a variety of other SEL subjects. We hope to provide both resources and dialogue regarding these topics, and look forward to your contributions.
Today, divorce is a common life crisis, with more than one million occurring in the United States annually. Those families contain our students, however we may not be informed of the separation progression or status of the family circumstances. Students experiencing family dissolution may have a more difficult time with academic and social expectations than children from intact or established blended families. This silent stressor weighs down their spirit, especially because how parents interact with each other, both before and after the divorce may have a far greater impact on children than the actual divorce itself.
Maternal depression, which certainly can manifest as a result of such disruption in a family’s stability, can also negatively affect children’s behavior and development. Another stressor’s children often experience, like myself, includes taking on additional, often adult roles such as child care in the evening while their mother works the night shift. Resulting conduct problems include guilt, rage, sadness, depression, and anxiety; disrupted and insecure attachment patterns, as well as symptoms consistent with PTSD, and decreased academic performance.
How can we as educators provide support to our students during this vulnerable period? One consideration is the integration of social and emotional learning (SEL) into our classrooms. SEL is the deliberate introduction of self-awareness, social awareness, self-management, responsible decision‐making, and relationship management skills. Ideally schools address SEL school-wide nonetheless, teachers can supplement such efforts with materials specifically geared toward the social challenges their students face. The books below address divorce and are perfect for a classroom library.
Age 3 and up:
- Dinosaurs Divorce (A Guide for Changing Families), by Marc Brown and Laurie Krasny Brown
- No Es Tu Culpa, Koko Oso: It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, (Spanish Edition), by Vicki Lansky
- Standing on My Own Two Feet: A Child's Affirmation of Love in the Midst of Divorce, by Tamara Schmitz
- Two Homes, by Claire Masurel
Age 5 and up:
- I Don't Want to Talk about It, by Jeanie Franz Ransom and Kathryn Kunz Finney
- My Stick Family: Helping Children Cope with Divorce, by Natalie June Reilly and Brandi J. Pavese
- Was It the Chocolate Pudding?: A Story for Little Kids about Divorce, by Sandra Levins
- When My Parents Forgot How to Be Friends, by Jennifer Moore-Mallinos and Marta Fabrega
Age 8 and up:
- Best of the Best: A Baseball Great Novel, by Tim Green
- Dear Mr. Henshaw, by Beverly Cleary
- Divorce Is Not the End of the World: Zoe's and Evan's Coping Guide for Kids, by Zoe Stern and Evan Stern
- What in the World Do You Do When Your Parents Divorce? A Survival Guide for Kids, by Kent Winchester J.D. and Roberta Beyer J.D.
- Where am I Sleeping Tonight?, by Carol Gordon Ekster
Age 10 and up:
- A Smart Girl's Guide to Her Parents' Divorce: How to Land on Your Feet When Your World Turns Upside Down, by Nancy Holyoke
- Don't Fall Apart on Saturdays! The Children's Divorce-Survival Book, by Adolph Moser
- My Parents Are Divorced Too: A Book for Kids by Kids, by Melanie Ford, Steven Ford, Annie Ford, and Jann Blackstone-Ford
- When Mom and Dad Separate: Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief from Divorce, by Marge Heegaard
Age 12 and up:
- Divorce Survival Guide For Kids: Tips To Survive Your Parents Divorce: For Kids, Written By Kids, by Samantha Smith
- It's Not the End of the World, by Judy Blume
- The Divorce Helpbook for Teens, by Cynthia MacGregor
If you recommend any other titles, or have input on activities that support children experiencing divorce, feel free to share them. Future entries here will address bullying, media usage, classroom management and a variety of other SEL subjects. We hope to provide both resources and dialogue regarding these topics, and look forward to your contributions.